Staying in an elder-care hospital facility is an experience everyone should have — preferably earlier rather than later in life. Here are some thoughts and observations from the past few days of staying with my dad in such a place:

• You have to punch a code into a box in order to exit the building.

• I asked one of the nurses for a plastic fork. She said, “We don’t have forks here. Only plastic knives and spoons.”

• I was in the rec room the other night, making use of their Internet connection. A guy in a wheelchair rolled up to me and told me that I had no right to be there, that it was a “residents only” area. I had to bite a hole through my lip to keep from saying I was sorry for violating his inner sanctum of TV viewing and jigsaw puzzles.

• If it wasn’t for old people, television would not exist.

• Some nurses and aides adopt a saccharine, patronizing tone with elderly patients. I was initially annoyed by this, but now I’m convinced it’s at least in part a psychological mechanism to help the staff cope with the depressing nature of their work.

• There is a guy in a room across the hall from my dad who shouts “HEY!!” every time someone walks past the door.

• The mainstream medical establishment rejects the idea that constipation can affect your overall health. (This was a major point of contention between me and some of the staff at my dad’s previous hospital.) People who work with geriatric patients, on the other hand, accept this viewpoint as an obvious fact.

• The song lyric “I hope I die before I get old” has taken on new meaning to me.

• Double-occupancy rooms are the devil. As I indicated in my previous post, I’m not exactly thrilled about the place where my dad is staying, but at least he’s not sharing a room. There is a second bed in his unit, which so far has stayed empty, however one of the nurses told my mom there is a strong likelihood that it could be filled. If that happens, I’m pulling Dad out of here instantly. The last thing my father needs is some old soul retching on their deathbed next to him while he’s trying to get better.

• Nurses and nurses’ aides can be a fascinating source of real-world, practical info.

• An officially-recognized side effect of one of the most-prescribed drugs for Alzheimer’s is confusion. Other possible side effects include dizziness, hallucinations, and sleepiness.

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